Dealing with a poisonous workplace culture

I've become quite a fan of the StackOverflow and the Programmers StackExchange websites over the last couple of years.  Not only as a resource whenever I get stuck on some IT related question that I don't have a ready answer for, but also as a place to return a contribution to the development community at large as payment for the years of help that I have received by people who I have never met that gave over some of their time to post the answer to a question or two.

At first I found myself contributing answers to technical questions, but lately I find myself ignoring most of those, and focusing instead on the questions that relate to the problems that technical people often face, where people skills and psychology are required.  Take this post for example in which I answered a question relating to dealing with people treating the poster as a bit of a tall poppy in his view. As I read the poster's question, it reminded me of past events in which I had found myself in a similar situation.

I found myself both empathizing with the poster, but also feeling that he probably also had to take responsibility for some (if not all) of the problem if he really wants to do anything about it. Each person's experiences are different, but if I have learned one thing, it's that whether you are an insufferable know-it-all who lets everyone know it, or just someone very smart and self-deprecating who has achieved many things, people will find a way to despise you, and treat you poorly.

It's almost as if human beings are pre-programmed to band together and knock down those who manage to rise above others on their own merit, and yet there are people who rise with little skill or knowledge, but who somehow manage to avoid the tall poppy syndrome, even though they may have hurt others to reach their lofty position. I'm sure than anyone who has worked for more than a couple of years has seen this phenomenon occurring, either from a distance, or perhaps as the victim. I can really only think of two reasons for why the undeserving are left alone while the deserving are punished by their peers.  Jealousy, and insecurity.

I've worked in an environment where some very intelligent people have felt that they knew everything, only to learn that their particular perspectives could be challenged.  The insecure see this as a personal attack against their beliefs, and rather than try to learn something new, or at worst agree to disagree, they instead treat each encounter as if they are about to be proven wrong, and they go the defensive such that they take every opportunity to prove their perceived attacker as being wrong.  Even worse however is when a number of insecure people band together in an effort to validate their position, and use the pressure of numbers to push their point through.

Insecurity goes hand in hand with jealousy.  Two sides of a bitter coin that only serve to compliment each other in the worst possible way.  The jealous will do everything they can do undermine their tall poppy target, resorting to outright lies and using their relationships with their insecure colleagues to make their target feel isolated, and themselves empowered.

I've been on the receiving end more than once in my career. In at least one case, I was brought down to Earth quite quickly when in my own arrogance and self-assuredness, I learned that people don't like it when a wet-behind-the-ears 19 year-old smart arse points out every flaw and cockily tells everyone how he would do things better. Lesson learned... sensitivity is the key.  In other cases however, I have found myself unjustly attacked on many occasions, and ostrasized by my colleagues, simply for doing my job to the best of my ability.  In some cases, even my bosses have engaged in the same petty behaviour as my colleagues.

Now, I could simply have walked away from every bad situation that I found myself in, but that wouldn't teach me anything, and would simply leave me repeating the problem again in another job.  Instead, I've tried to look into what it is that makes people behave the way that they do, and for my own benefit try to improve a poisonous work culture so that I would not find myself at odds with all of my colleagues all of the time. In short, I've learned to do the following:

• Swallow my pride, and avoid taking every comment made personally.  That saves me sinking to the level of others.
• Avoid making friends at work.  That's not to say that I can't be friendly and talk about common interests.  Instead, maintaining a healthy professional distance and keep in mind that everyone else will serve their own interests before my own, and that those interests won't always be morally acceptable to me.
• Accept that not only can I be wrong (which has never really been a problem for me), but that others will not change their minds easily no matter how right or wrong they may be.
• That being right or wrong is never really an issue, but ensuring I provide value to the company is.
• If asked during a review to give my opinion about someone else, don't hesitate to tell the truth, regardless of how it might harm someone-else's prospect for advancement. Hedging or saying something to be nice to colleagues will come across as weak, and will only make others stand out regardless of how poorly they might deserve it.
• Don't count on anyone else for support, and only offer my own if it will result in some sort of benefit for me.  Others won't hesitate to pull their support for their own gain, so support others only if I can follow it through fairly and honestly.
• Quit flogging a dead horse.  In most cases, once someone has made up their mind about something, they're not likely to change it no matter how unjustified their position is.  Once the damage is done it's done.
• Engage with others in a non-threatening manner.  And by that I'm not talking about physically, but about not attempting to challenge peoples ideals directly.  Challenge them instead indirectly, by example, and by pandering slightly to their seemingly fragile egos, even though it really goes against the grain.
• Use positive re-enforcement as a technique to try and effect change.  If I'm seen to be "going along with the crowd", attitudes will be tempered somewhat as I'll be seen as less of a threat.
• Find at least 2 to 3 good things that have happened in each day while at work. Change the mindset so that I can enjoy myself while I am working.
• If I can't find any enjoyment in my workplace, and if I can't subtly bring about a change in the culture, then perhaps it really is time to seek a better role.
• It ain't personal, it's just business.  Treat work like it's business.  It should be treated this way anyway.  Managers won't respect people who treat the workplace as their own little hobby center.  

Reading back over this article makes me wonder if it's going to sound as though I'm harboring my own bitter feelings about this sort of stuff.  Quite the contrary.  Instead I've learned how to deal with the big interpersonal problems that can occur in the workplace, and I'm the stronger for it. I understand people better, and I'm getting to understand the psychology behind what it is that motivates people to behave badly in their work places.

I'm sure there is more to it than what I have written about here. People have all sorts of troubles on the outside which they manage to unfortunately drag into their workplaces with them.  All of this has its impact I'm sure.  At least I can feel that the next time I'm seen as the tall poppy, that I'll be able to deal with the problem armed with experience, and a motivation to improve things rather than simply reacting and making things worse.